Decisions

Every human being is faced with agonizing decisions. They might be moral decisions or decisions of little significance. A human being is defined by the sum of his/her decisions. Events unfold unpredictably. Human happiness is not included in the design of creation. It is only ourselves that can give our capacity to love in this indifferent world. But most human beings still keep trying. Even if they find the simple joys of life in the smallest things like family, work, and with the hope that future generations will learn more.

How do we know if we make the right decision? The answer is simple, we don’t. That’s why life is a gamble. It is not design for happiness. It is design for confusion and suffering. That’s why the only way to keep sane in this world is to have a path and stick with it. I feel like I am giving up because I am choosing to pursue teaching out of conformity. But conformity pays the bills. I can’t afford to be in writing workshops hoping I get a job or have a book out. Writing is not about that. Writing is not about how a medium is applied. It is about how to understand the world through words. It is a process. Since I just got started, I feel like I have a long way to go before I can call myself a good writer. That is why I think that having a job to take care of my living expenses is imperative.

The decision to teach is not out of passion, but necessity. I don’t want to come of as being to attach to one particular field because I can write and teach. But if I decide to go into teaching the creative writing will have to be put on the back burner for a while. I feel like shit having to do that because once again I started something and didn’t finish it. It’s my life story. What makes it even worst is that I actually like writing even if I don’t get paid for it.